"If one day the speed kills me, do not cry because I was smmiling" - Paul Walker
*12. September. 1973 - † 30.November. 2013
I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.
There would be times in our life when we would just look back to to all the things in the past. You would replay all the things that you have done with that particular someone and all the conversations that you had with him. You would recall all the places you explored together, all the movies you watched while holding each other hands, all the songs that you listen to again and again and all those times that you just want to last forever. You would try to bring back the memories of all the fights you had and the reasons why. All these things would keep on crashing back into your mind once in a while and you would have this question to yourself: “Where did we go wrong?”
Maybe it is when he started not to text you regularly when he used to be so clingy. Maybe it is when he got jealous when he saw you with your guy best friend hugging each other when you are comforting him when he got dumped. Maybe it is when you didn’t have much time to have a date with him because you were so busy with your studies or work. Maybe it is when you read this particular message on his phone that indicates he has another woman. Maybe it is the time when you looked at him and you realized that everything wasn’t just the same anymore. And maybe you wouldn’t even know when it started.
The truth is you will never know and you never knew when it ended. You wouldn’t detect that first sign of trouble because all you know are the things from your perspective, not his. And so maybe, it has ended a long time ago with him, he isn’t just telling it to you. You would just know when the moment of truth comes, when your heart has been broken and the damage has been done. How we wish life has those warning signs that would tell us if a relationship is about to fall apart so that we wouldn’t have to feel its pain but then we don’t and we have no choice but to deal with the loss just after it broke us apart.